She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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