What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
