That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
