dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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