so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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