Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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