I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
