More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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