oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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