I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize