Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
