You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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