My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
be right there i have to get my cape
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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