so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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