You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
