That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
