Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
