OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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