five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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