How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Small penises have feelings too.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
