She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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