I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
honey bunches of taint.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize