Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
my poor anus
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
