Christians are straight up FREAKS
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
