I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
