apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
