i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize