He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
