After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
