I wish i was in the wii world.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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