I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
