No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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