I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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