i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
