Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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