I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
