Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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