i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize