listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
