i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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