i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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