Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
