come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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