Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
