The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We left an ass print on the piano.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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