Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize