I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
