Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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