I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you traded sex for a burrito?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
