Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
