I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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