I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
