I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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