is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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