You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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