i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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