i was rollin on her like bob the builder
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
