good thing vaginas are great cup holders
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
