Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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