dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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